Halloween

I absolutely love Halloween! Why? -you may ask. Well, to quote one of my favorite shows: because not only do women dress up in costumes, but nearly every costume is… let’s say… slutty! We’ve got spicy cats, hot witches, naughty princesses, and even sexy pumpkins!

Remember How I Met Your Mother? The show that started in the early 2000s and ran for nine seasons. My favorite character? Barney, of course. The ultimate bachelor, ladies’ man, and overall legend. The guy lives for strip clubs, never dates the same woman twice, and follows a set of self-made rules that are nothing short of brilliant. His wild pickup strategies? Tested a few myself and trust me—they work very well! Although Barney isn’t the main character (that’s Ted, the hopeless romantic narrating to his teenage kids how he met their mom), let’s be real: the show is less about the love story and more about the gang’s youthful escapades. Five friends chasing happiness, love, and fulfilment-except Barney, who’s on a completely different mission.

At first glance, it might seem like a show meant for women. Honestly, I didn’t get hooked on it myself. Back then, I lived with a girl who started watching it, so I joined her. By the second season, we’d broken up, but I continued watching it on my own. Maybe Barney influenced me; I started seeing myself as his real-life counterpart—zero intention of settling down.
But hey, I’ve digressed into a full-on series recommendation when I meant to write about Halloween. Let’s get back on track.

This year’s Halloween party was at my favorite strip club, and it was epic! Honestly, all their events are incredible- I always get excited to see what they’ll come up with next. I swear, I’m more excited for next year’s event calendar than Christmas!
I’ve been to all kinds of Halloween bashes, each memorable in its own way. A few years ago, I ended up at a party filled with couples-totally not my cup of tea, but I thought there’d at least be one other single person (preferably female). Nope. Instead, there were sugar-high kids going crazy, pumpkin-shaped cookies by the truckload, neon-green punch, spiderweb decorations everywhere, and tipsy parents barely holding it together. I dressed up as Dracula. At a proper party, my costume would’ve slayed. But there? Among the crumpled clown hats and sticky witch hats? I was just some guy in a cape.

By midnight, I’d had enough of the chaos. Kids screaming? Not my vibe. I decided to call a taxi but when I stepped outside, the weather was surprisingly warm. It was a nice October evening. The empty streets and gentle breeze were refreshing, so I opted to walk instead. It was nice until it started to rain. Not wanting to ruin the borrowed costume, I quickly hopped on a tram.
There were only five other passengers, all looking equally unimpressed with my Dracula outfit.

Then, as we approached a stop, I saw her- a flawless catwoman. A real slutty catwoman. My night might not be completely wasted after all- I thought. She hopped on the tram, gave me a look, and angrily plopped into a seat. She was clearly having a bad night.
“Picked the wrong party too, huh?” I ventured, sitting across from her.
“As if my night wasn’t bad enough, now I’ve got a priest hitting on me,” she shot back, staring out the window. There was no point in continuing that chat. I got off at the next stop. As the tram pulled away, I waved. She flipped me off and turned away.

I checked my watch. 2:00 a.m. The show’s old mantra echoed in my head: “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. Just go home.” That’s true. And that’s how my worst Halloween night ended.
This year at the Marilyn, though? Unbeatable. That’s where I belong: amidst the magical half-dressed women, an excellent bar selection, and a trusty cab ride home. No more kiddie parties or tram rides. Dracula’s retired. From now on, it’s all about great parties and making it home before 2 a.m. to avoid the chaos.